After You
by 40sPinUpGirl
Summary: Drake is heartbroken. After witnessing the marriage of Morwenna to another man, Drake sees no point in continuing to live in Cornwall. But he can't go without knowing why. His heart has been broken, but he wants to know why.


Drake Carne left the small Poldark church in a daze. His mind was in a whirl. His heart was aching like it never ached before. He still couldn't believe it, that should have been him up there saying ' _I do.'_ Itshould have been him who was walking out of the church with her. 'Twas Drake who should've been the bridegroom. But she seemed lost to him forever now.

Almost mechanically he walked down the road, placing one foot in front of the other. He was like a machine now, going from one task to the other, never saying a word, never showing emotion. That night he refused to take super, insetting instead to lie down on his cot. He laid there awake thinking over the events of the day and her. Her, the girl he loved more than anything. The one who broke his heart once and caused him to go to France in search of a purpose. The one who just yesterday said that she would leave everything to be with him. Now, she would never be his. He still could remember the look on her face as she left the church. It was burned in his memory like a wound that would never heal. Yet no matter how much pain he was caused today, she was still a part of him. And he could never deny it. And in the stillness of the night, Drake wondered what she was doing in that far off place.

Was she sad? Was she happy? Did she really mean those things she said to him on the bridge that day and at the seashore?

That day, it seemed so long ago now. Like a distant memory of the past. Drake now began to sob uncontrollably. All day he held in. All day he tried to conceal the pain. But with each passing moment, each passing hour it became all the more unbearable. He felt as if someone had reached into his chest and ripped his heart out. And he couldn't stand it. No words of comfort, no medicine would take this pain away. Only time would heal what had been hurt.

The next day, Drake made a firm decision to leave Cornwall. The pleas of his brother and sister fell upon deaf ears. Even Ross could do nothing. Drake couldn't stay in a place that was causing him so much heartache and pain. But he couldn't leave without knowing why. His very nature refused the thought of running without an explanation. If only he knew her reasons, then he could leave knowing why. Summing up the courage, Drake took pen and paper in hand and scratched a few words upon the paper. All that was needed was a few words. _Please come_ would be enough. No signature, no name, no place would be needed. She would the hand. She would know where to go. And she would come. Of this, Drake was certain. The letter was sealed and delivered. Now Drake waited.

It's amazing how moments seem to stretch out into a thousand when you wait in anticipation. How the minutes turn into hours. And the hours never seem to end when you know not the moment of someone's arrival. Anxiety takes hold of you and makes constantly look over your shoulder, ahead, and from left to right. This was taking place with Drake. The endless waiting and not knowing was torture. Still, he sat there on the rocks, sometimes looking out to sea, other times looking for her. Then finally, in the distance, he saw her. The outlines of her figure growing closer and closer as she walked toward him. Soon they faced each other.

Neither could find the right words to say, for there were no right words with which to begin. What could she say? What explanation could she offer? Morwenna had no words of comfort for him. She looked at him then the sea, then back at him. It was all she could do.

"Why did ye do it?" Drake finally asked Morwenna through chocked up tears.

There they stood on the beach gazing at one another. The new Mrs. Morwenna Witworth looked the young Carne and tried her best not to burst forth in tears. She had only been married a few days but in that time she had never known such misery. The waves around them broke in on the rocks and sand. Seagulls above them flew over the ocean. But alone, two figures stood gazing into each other's eyes. The look of sadness hanging over them both.

"Why?"

Morwenna sighed, her chest vibrating as she inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Drake..." she breathed out.

"Why, Morwenna?! I thought you loved me. I thought you wanted to be with me. To start a home, a family. Why would you do this? Twas only six days past that ye looked me in the eye and told me that you loved me. Was it all a lie? I can not believe..."

"Drake!" She cut him off, tears now beginning to fall freely down her cheeks. "They were going to hang you! What else was I to do? Let you die..."

"It would've been better than seeing you wed someone you do not love!" He interjected. His heart was breaking, she knew as well as see it. Hers too was shattering into a million pieces, later to scattered upon the very sand on which they stood. "Do you love him?" He asked, his own tears leaving wet marks on his cheeks and neck.

"How can you say that?!" She protested in sudden sadness and shock. "Of course I do not love him. I never could. He's a monster! But I did what I had to do for you. I could not stand by and watch you be hung at the crossroads. My marriage to Mr. Witworth was done because I could not live with myself, even if I had never met Mr. Witworth if I knew that you were not alive. My world, my life would be empty if I knew you were never in it. At least this way I know that you somewhere thinking of me from time to time..."

"From time to time?!" Drake asked in turn. "I think of you all the time. Day and night; sleeping waking. Sun and moon; working or dreaming. You are always in my thoughts. In my actions. And I can not live knowing that he gets to be with you when I cannot. When I can never be. It kills me to think that he will get to lay with you, whereas I must sit from a distance knowing that you are his in every possible human way. It rips at my soul to think that you will bear him children. His children They should be my sons and daughters. Our sons and daughters." Drake could no longer hold back the pain that gripped his heart. The wound was caused and could never be healed.

"'Tis you and I who should be sitting by the fireplace watching little ones play and grow. Now we'll never have that."

"Do you think that this easy for me?" Morwenna asked half in anger, half in pain. "Because it's not. I want nothing more than to be yours. All yours. I want to give all I am to you, holding nothing back. It kills me every morning to wake and see him by my side in place of you. When he looks at me, I feel nothing but contempt. I refuse to lay with him because I know I'm my heart it would be a lie to give him myself when I what I feel for him is only disgust. The very thought or mention of his name makes me cringe. Drake," she sighed, her voice unsteady and barely audible above a whisper. "All I wanted was us to be together, but life never works out the way we plan. All I prayed for day and night was for a way to be with you, but God answers all our prayers each in His own way. And who are we to question the answer? Now, I am forced to live with a man that I do not love and could never possibly learn to regard as even a friend and the very thought makes my heartbreak. But I agreed to marry him solely for the purpose to save your life, and if I had to choose between watching you hang and spending the rest of my life without you in it, and marrying Osborne, there is no question in my mind what I would choose."

She looked at him now in the eyes. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried to hold the oncoming flow is fresh ones. Taking a deep breath she turned to walk away.

"Wait!" Drake called out reaching for her hand to stop her.

He pulled to himself and kissed her. It was a deep and passionate kiss. Morwenna, at first surprised, now kissed him in return, leaning and molding into his arms. They remained in this surreal moment., lingering in the kiss they were sharing. He wanted to be hers, as she longed to be all his. They wanted to belong to each other. All alone in the world, just the two of them. Forever. Drake finally pulled away from her lips. He was still her in arms. He looked at breathlessly before resting his forehead against hers.

"Then be mine." He said softly in her ear. "Be all mine Morwenna. And no one else's. Be mine."

Morwenna wrapped her arms around Drakes' neck and smiled softly. She was the happiest she had been since her wedding. Was a guilty happiness? Surely not! She gave Drake her heart long ago. In truth, it was his from the start. At that moment she knew that she was truly his. But sadly, she knew also that this moment would be short live. A moment, a stitch in time stolen here and there. Snatched moments and memories that would fade all too quickly. But she would be his. All his. And it would have been worth it.

"I already am." She whispered softly in response.

Drake took her his arms and kissed her. This time he was never letting her go...


End file.
